The semester-ly tradition in which outgoing members of The Daily Orange’s in-house staff reveal just how truly fractured their emotional (well-)being is and with whom it remains. Here are my pieces.

(Roommate) Kyle: This is usually where family goes, but you’ve been mine up here. You only faintly complain when I leave a stack of dishes, you tolerate us not having had a sleepover in who knows how long and don’t seem to mind that I leave peanut butter tracks everywhere. That, and you may have actually saved my life that one time.

Mom, Dad, Katie, Steven, Anna: I’m sorry I’ve never gotten to show you around here and I largely stopped sending you links after my freshman year. But do know that, to a very real extent, I’m working to prove it was all worthwhile.

Bailey: You were the first person in this place who wasn’t afraid to show how much you cared. I didn’t realize it then, but being that much of a dude is also what makes you the best reporter covering Syracuse football.

You were also really right about how our tradition changes things, namely perspective. If I had to follow in footsteps, I’m glad they were yours.

I hope our friendship stays this weird.

Wilson: This is tragically documented on Facebook, but I really, really wanted your hair from — I don’t know, let’s just say ages 12 until … I’m sure it stopped at some point. The fact that I don’t resent you for this is a testament to what a thoroughly righteous dude you are.

My apologies to Wendy for the freezer incident.

Ankur: I don’t think there are many places like this in the world. And in those places, there are even fewer people like yourself.

Lizzie: Sh*t, you might’ve been my first non-Sports D.O. friend. You definitely became my best.

Thanks for the invites to sit on your couch

As mind f*ckingly weird and occasionally sad as it will be to hang out in your room next semester, I’m more than glad you’ll be back.

Beth: Not being on your sh*t list — it’s real — should probably be on my resume.

The fact that you’ve acted as both a sort of aunt and sister in my time here is perfect ammo for all kinds of jokes about “southern roots” — many of which you’d laugh at, as you enjoy my brand of humor more than you probably should. I dig yours too and I’m pretty pumped to bake with you next semester.

Lindsay: I wish I could make as many cool noises as you and deal with everyone’s sh*t as well as you do. I’m pretty patient, but you’re patient-er. For whatever reason, my earliest memory of you is listening to Pandora on my phone with you at like, 2 a.m.

Vandy: You’re one of the nicest people I know. And you’re actually talented. Dick move.

Mike: I think that you’re one of the more misunderstood D.O. people. That’s not to say I’ve got you figured out or even really want to. Just that, even when it’s too late, whenever I want to make myself a reporter or a story better, I go to you. And getting better really is much of the point.

Mark: Once upon a time, I’m told, I poured out much of an entire beer on your kitchen floor, “for Wilson.” It was almost the last, but hardly the first time I tested your patience here.

The fact that you had as much patience as you did for me and supported my ideas for the section as long as you have is ultimately what I think about whenever your name comes up. Thanks for that. I’m really glad we’re still in touch. Sorry about that one time with your roommate(s).

Ryne: Our marathon reads on my tennis stories have shaped me as an editor. There’s probably a small host of hockey, tennis and softball beat writers, among others, that hate you now but I appreciate it.

The fact that our paths still seem to cross at least once a year now is a little ridiculous.

Chris: You were probably the perfect boss for the eccentric but self-loathing creature that I was as a sophomore. You also tried some things in the section that you’ll probably never get credit for. But you and I both know exactly what those people can do. Twice.

Phil: When we were in Prof. Boll’s class together I had a feeling we’d be around each other ‘till the end here. Seems common sensical now.

Anyway, you don’t need me to tell you that you’ve earned it all here. I just liked writing it.

TREvor: Get it? Of course you do. When you come back: 1. We’ll win Media Cup, again. 2. I’ll smack the sh*t outta you in tennis. 3. We’ll go back to Princeton.

Jesse: It’s time to fire up all of the Chipps.

Sam: Stay relentless and occasionally breathe. Also, I really appreciated you reaching out when I wasn’t around. Please keep doing that.

Schneidman: You remind me of me in that you’re hype as f*ck for this place. In five years’ time … you’ll need a hip replacement. Bang on.

Schwed: Stay golden.

Jess: For a Red Bulls fan, you’re a surprisingly decent human being.

Meredith: I just really, really appreciate you.

Lara: Thanks for entrusting me with the minds of our youth.

MadBernz: I really never hated you. You just got way too much fun to mess with way too quickly and it was all downhill from there, at least for a while.

But you know what? You’re a Sports thing.

Chase: I kind of hope London made you more of an asshole. You’re way too nice as a person, a photographer and, as we’ve so relentlessly demonstrated, on the dance floor.

Seegz: The efforts you’ll go through just to get a simple update from me on a story exemplifies why I will fight anyone in the face who tries to tell me you’re not the best reporter on this campus.

You’ll either be a renowned (feared) reporter someday or the guy in the grocery store muttering to his cart. Maybe both. Either way, I’m proud to tell people we co-bylined your – 30 –.

Tony: We are kindred spirits in this.

Marwa: You might be too cool to be a girl, which makes sense now that I think about it, considering that Bailey is more than a man.

Auds: People would call you a rock if you weren’t so much cooler than that. I wish we were friends in Bob Lloyd’s class a few years back. Think of all the knives we could’ve thrown in that extra time.

Rone: Thanks for teaching me what a nut graf is. That was key.

Jackie: Please be a D.O. lifer. You can and should be one.

CDB: I think you gave Kyle his D.O. nickname. So thanks for that. I’ll always be a little bummed that you didn’t complete the Triple Crown, but I’m also still glad that some of my earliest memories at 744 are soundtracked to you shrieking around the house. It was comforting.

Alfred: Dude stuff.

Chloe: Grouplove and pancakes. Also, I’m thankful that you’re the closest thing to a child that I actually have.

Mara: I’d work for you. I think a lot of people will.

Casey*: You are a f*cking gem. Diamond, obviously.

You’re also someone with an obsession with plans and appropriateness, neither of which I very much care for. The fact that I get to mess up both for you is — well, now I’d just be bragging. I wrote this about a week ago.

At the time, it didn’t sound or read nearly as nice as it felt, but I knew I’d love you more when this thing ran than I did when I wrote it. I woke up this morning knowing I was right.

*Disclaimer: My entanglement with the aforementioned did not begin until well after I was no longer working under her. Casey has always strived for the highest of professional standards and clarifies this point to most everyone, including people who don’t care. When she became Editor in Chief, we were both otherwise occupied. But I always thought she looked cute in pajamas.

Published on December 4, 2014 at 4:40 am

Contact Jacob: [email protected] | @Jacob_Klinger_