Forget Hollywood's perfect romances: plan the perfect Valentine's Day at SU

By: Nathan Mattise

Posted: 2/12/08

Love it or hate it, the most heart-pounding event of the year is two days away. The anxiety associated with it runs more rampant than the holiday puns in that last sentence.

Depending on whom you ask, there's good reason to be anxious. Chuck Klosterman famously argued society has an unattainable idea of what real love is because of the "love" we see in popular culture. He was looking specifically at you, Coldplay.

But let me clue you in…Klosterman isn't right. Instead of crying about the unrealistic expectations movies and television have created, it's time to embrace the romance. The following cheat sheet of pop-culture inspired date ideas is a good start. These can even be pulled off in the romantic confines of SU. Eat that Chuck.

(Note: Yes, I realize all of these are from Disney movies, hipster date films or over-the-top romances)

The "I'm-spontaneously-starting-the-most-romantic-situation-on-earth" date

Description: This date is cost-effective for starters. The basic premise is you two enjoy each others' company so much but don't necessarily get a lot of alone time to be romantic. To rectify the situation, a brief walk is suggested, and it suddenly turns into the cutest damn moment of your college years.

Where you may have seen it: Variations of the spontaneous date show up in "The Notebook," (Gosling and Adams laying in the middle of the street), "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," (Carrey and Winslet lay on the ice and immortalize the moment in those weird potato figurines) or even "Aladdin" (Al saves a costumed Jasmine from palace guards, gives her an apple and reveals the sweetest view of the Agrabah skyline).

How to do it at SU: Getting it rolling isn't tough. The key to pulling off a spontaneous date at SU is to think real estate - it's all location, location, location. Walk that lucky date around for 15 to 20 minutes before ending up at either ESF's Illick Hall (which my single friend Renkas says has multiple walk-through greenhouses open during the day) or the top of the College of Law steps (complete with surprisingly beautiful Syracuse skyline at night).

The "Not-so-cliché-variation-on-a-cliché-dinner" date

Description: Dinner is practically mandatory for Valentine's Day, but on an average dinner date, it's the food or the money spent that your date will remember. For the not-so-cliché date, it's important to create a memorable moment that could exist outside of the dinner setting but just happened to occur there.

Where you may have seen it: Examples of these pop up everywhere, but it's most celebrated in "Lady and the Tramp" (nosing a meatball to your date, eating the same spaghetti strand to culminate in a kiss) or "How Harry Met Sally" (Meg Ryan demonstrating her "acting" abilities to Billy Crystal).

How to do it at SU: You're really only limited by your imagination with this one. You could dine on some waffles down at Funk 'N Waffles, but slip a suggestion for Marvin Gaye to hit the PA system and unleash your best crooner routine. Or have your buddy who works the sandwich line in Brockway arrange the ranch dressing in a heart complete with appropriate initials and a lettuce plus sign. If faking an orgasm can romantically bring two people together over a meal, I'm not sure there's a way to mess this one up.

The "How-counter-culture-are-we?-This-is-an-(insert weird location)" date

Description: Think of the least romantic place you could ever plan to take a date, take them, then somehow through Cupid's graces and your miraculous charm it all works out.

Where you may have seen it: Classic examples of the counter culture date are in "Garden State" (not only is there a third wheel, Braff takes Portman to a garbage dump in the pouring rain) and "The Lion King" (Simba and Nala get their young groove on in an elephant graveyard).

How to do it at SU: For starters, there is Oakwood graveyard and with all the Sci Tech construction, the site is as good as a garbage dump momentarily. Other nominees for least romantic place on campus would be the College Place bus stop, the Booth parking garage and the Physics Building.

So there you have it. Rip this out, fold it up and shove it in your pocket just in case. We all know what Pat Benatar said (pssst… "Love is a battlefield"), so it couldn't hurt to be a little more prepared this year.

Nathan Mattise is a pop-culture columnist for The Daily Orange where his columns appear on Tuesdays. If you're wondering - no, he won't be making potato figurines with his beau on V-Day. Who would have a beau weird enough to even know what they are? Mattise can be reached at nzmattis@syr.edu.